things fall apart
bang! the olds smacked the boulder. s. backed up and continued down the hill.
the sun was setting and there were 75 more hairpin turns to navigate. no brakes. even the emergency brake was worn out and useless. he was so angry. why should he even be on this dirt road leaving behind the woman he loved and his two boys, demian and jonathan.
he had been looking for julie at chris and cynthia's mountain community… hanging around in her room. absentmindedly wondering why nobody wanted to be with him. every person he had turned on with, even the friends he had tripped with had avoided him. something's going on.
he found a letter, unsealed but stamped, to bob fitzgerald. in it julie tells fitzgerald how she's in love with rin. rin is a handsome acid freak about s.'s age; a longhair and a drop out. he had been captain of the football team in high school but was now a daily lsd tripper. she tells details of their whirlwind sexual adventure and how she can't live without him, and what to do about s.
s. stormed out of the house, knocked a few people over jumping off the porch. everyone knew. they knew now that he knew. nobody stopped him. it was like he was being blown by a hurricane force wind. into the pink oldsmobile, with no brakes. the car fishtailed down the hill leaving a cloud of sand and dust.
*******************************************************************
in golden gate park s. had torn one sandal to bits clambering around the rocks. now he was walking around with one sandal on claiming to be orestes. he told fortunes with half a deck of cards. people marveled at the accuracy of his predictions.
now he was just like that disheveled derelict he had rescued from the berry bush by the side of the highway in santa barbara. he had let this barefoot waif/pilgrim/madman in the orchard at the hacienda. that unfortunate man never said a single word all the two weeks he spent living off of fruit and nuts. he slept in the open without even a blanket. one day he was just gone. s. wondered what had driven him to despair. what makes people go nuts. what causes a man to lose his mind?
now s. was sleeping outdoors. now he had no plan. he had nothing, and he had no urge to do anything. except maybe to stay high. san francisco in the early sixties was just the place to do it. a 'lid' cost about ten dollars, but he never had to buy pot. everyone was turning everyone on; even mescaline and the 'blue dots' of lsd were plentiful and a gram of hash was usually 'laid on you' by some girl flirt runaway hoyden.
it took over a month to come out of the clouds and he met fritz. fritz had no last name. he was an aquarian in the age of aquarius. they immediately became brothers. "brothers of the spear"; one light, the other dark.
fritz helped s. get the pink bomb out of the shop and they cruised the city; north beach and the city lights bookstore, the "purple onion" and the "hungryeye cafe'" were highlights. they smoked weed with ginzburg and neal cassidy. they were twenty-two and nimble with the cool beat chics. there were road trips out of the city to marin county; the rolling lush grassy hills where you could run down the hill to the sea and the girls, elegantly dressed wove wildflower crowns and necklaces and wore them happily. and sometimes they would sit on the rocks in silence watching the four o'clock clouds of fog come rolling in from the vast pacific.
PainterWoman said:
Oh wow. What a shock…and a let down for s. Julie sounds a bit like my son's father. He seemed to be always searching, yearning, seducing, then leaving everyone behind in the dust anyone who loved him. He never thought of anyone but himself. I think it's a good thing I never tried drugs. I might have tried to follow him in everything he did. It really wasn't till many years later that I found out what drugs he used and what he did…..27 years later when he called me out of the blue.
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
:awww: So sorry for the loss of your little family. I hope it’s only temporary. I look forward to reading the post where you are reunited again…
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
wow, pam, that's interesting. it is just as well, you missed the drug scene. "always searching, yearning, seducing, then leaving everyone behind in the dust anyone who loved him."you said it! too damn bad. it breaks an invisible tie. i am sure of that.summer, you'll see. i can tell you though that they came together again soon. then apart. they remained lifelong friends at least. :happy:
LikeLike
ellinidata said:
I guess the need of Julie to find herself did not end… 😦 sorry for you , 😦 sorry for Julie, and even more sorry 😦 for the boys….I never did drugs and I can not relate to the few paragraphs,I never understood why people at the point of their lives that they need a clear mind to think, choose to "fog" their minds..why?did Julie have more kids after Jon?I wished I knew what happened in her life prior to her first marriage to kill her self esteem so deeply….:heart:
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
Thank you Scott. I am so glad you found a way to remain friends…for the sake of the boys…and you. :heart:
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
yes, it's better that way. i have no resentments about what happened… c'est la vie :happy:
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
meli :heart: your comment didn't show up until now… strange, where was it hiding? it was dated the 14th… oh well, another opera mystery. i thought you hadn't commented.answer to your question is that sometimes things get so bad that you just need a little relief from reality. that all it is. simple. but of course you have to have the propensity for chemistry also.yes, julie had two more… jason and adrienne. i named them. they also each have different fathers. that's six in all with five fathers.the last question… i can't answer.
LikeLike
ellinidata said:
:heart:meli,I might take a day or so to read the entry a couple of times before I say "hi I was here" but I am always reading… Julie must write her book too… it seems to me that her heart fire, her body desires and her wonder did make many to hurt and many to love her …I hope she is now only loved.:heart:
LikeLike
ellinidata said:
I am glad to know she is in a good place meli :heart: ,we all have our doubts on how good of a job we did…don't we?
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
yes, thank you, meli :heart: she's retired from many years of social work, survived breast cancer and loves to have her grown up children visit with all the grandchildren. i've been to a couple of these reunions in san francisco. julie has made amends. but she still thinks she did a very bad job. but nobody blames her. :happy:
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
sure, if we're honest. i used to always say, "i did the best that i can." but you know, i could have done better. :happy:now i just try to do a little bit better than i can. 😎
LikeLike
edwardpiercy said:
I read this one and the prior 3 and thought that I would respond to them as a group.I sometimes wonder why the positive things of the 60s — the newfound freedom, the radicalism, the new ideas of culture — had to be accompanied by such terrible drug use. I can't say that I've never done them. But I was old enough to remember back in the 60s and the people around who just destroyed their minds on the stuff. Carrying peace signs and playing Russian roulette at the same time. As far as the past goes, I've always felt that we make the best decisions we can at the time. I'm not saying those turn out to be good decisions. I'm just saying that few people walk into a situation and say "This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. But I'm going to do it anyway." We do the best we can. And hindsight isn't worth very much.Thank you Scott for the Sunday read.
LikeLike
edwardpiercy said:
Break on through to the other side? :)Glad you made it. :up:
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
things just happen ed, that's all there is to it. yes, we say to ourselves, "this is probably not the right thing to do." but, there is some kind of desire and momentum. not having a better reason than a sneaking suspicion, i just follow my nose. :happy: and i was lucky,
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
Oh baby, oh babyThen it fell apart, fell apartOh baby, oh babyThen it fell apart, it fell apartOh baby, oh babyThen it fell apart, it fell apartOh baby, oh babyLike it always does, always doesMoby,(not Moby Grape).(Gary L. Yoder & G.R. Grelecki)I'm the pilot of this planeSpread my wings at the break of dayFly by night, sleep by dayOh baby, won't you take me away."Pilot", from the fifth Blue Cheer album, "The Original Human Being"
LikeLike
edwardpiercy said:
"Extreme ways " Good song. One of my favorite albums.
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
take me awayjust take me outi'll not stayfor the goutdie young. that was the plan. :lol:thanks for the input whistle.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U-7DJFgooU"i had to close my mind"
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
Run Lola Run.
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
cool movie. got my attention. i like anything that is fresh and different. :happy:
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
Ya, she is regular looking but she is hot.
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
film critique… brave cutting. i think the director, editor etc. were trying to bring the plastic qualities of film back into our consciousness. very tedious though sometimes.,.. these experiments. i think film will always have to tell a story. sorry you thwarted painters. :cool:film should copy good writing. leave out the parts that people will skip over.
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
mona lisa, the moviehttp://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/480147/
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
i saw that when it came out. riveting, i remember.
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
your turn
LikeLike
Akamu said:
I think I missed the conversation. This is bad, because I wanted to jump in on the drugs bit but…so uh…"Hi!"
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
mona lisa was good. but i wouldn't see it again.akamu,you haven't missed anything. :happy: glad you dropped in anyway. stay tuned to more adventures. i just have to get around to typing the next chapter.hurray, :hat: :wizard: i finally got a car. toyota camry for $3,000 sweet. i just spent three hours cleaning it inside and out. finally found the spare tire. checked all fluids and ready to roll. :up: :happy:
LikeLike
whistlestopursus said:
It sorta turned into movies.
LikeLike
Akamu said:
Yay, transportation! :up:
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
los angeles is a city you don't want to do without a car, that's for sure.
LikeLike
Dracon3001 said:
Geez Scott, I can't figure out why, but everything I read your blog it makes me believe that life is best lived on the fringes of experience.Well, congrats on your new ride. Glad to hear you've finally got a set of wheels again. {-:
LikeLike
ellinidata said:
Happy 4th meli,I am back 🙂
LikeLike
ellinidata said:
GOSH! I wish I was there!have an amazing time!I am trying to clear the 29233628393092892 comment alerts I got so far… good thing you are posting tomorrow…I just came back from two parties and I have to attend a third at 7:30p NY time…. I 😮 feel joy to hear you are OK too !.
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
hey, mike… you commented! finally. :happy:meli, :heart: ahhh joy :up: i missed you.i am celebrating the birthday of our country. i made potsickers. about sixty of them and i am taking a bunch to a fourth of july barbeque/pool party. :happy: :hat: welcome back. new post tomorrow… "confusion transfusion… never never gonna speed again", jail in mexico and another betrayal… you will love this one. 😆
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
What are potstickers Scott?
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
hi summer,it's a little dumpling stuffed with a pinch of any kind of filling you make. i made portk with green onions, fresh ginger and shredded chinese cabbage. i'll take pictures next time. it's really fun. do it with a friend. here's the best link for how to fold the dough.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spsGbDWauf4&feature=related&pos=7to cook them just throw them into a little vegetable oil and sesame oil. you can turn them over when one side is brown but you don't have to. that's why they call 'em potstickers (gyoza). just fry them covered to make sure the top gets cooked..
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
Thank you for the link Scott. Hopefully I can find the wraps so I can make some potstickers myself. :yes: They look and sound delicious.
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
oh, they are. i am doing it again. this time with shrimp. i think you can play with it once you get the knack of the folding. then put whatever you want in as a stuffing. today i am making 'tiger roll' tiger shrimp tempura, then add slivers of avocado, cucumber etc. serve with a little salad with apple vinegar dressing and some lovely miso soup.it's a lot of work but it's worth it. :happy:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFcOQw0VQFM
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
What a beautiful presentation. The tiger rolls look to good to destroy by eating them. Are you planning to take pics of yours?
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
yes i am planning to make a whole dinner of sushi, miso soup a little salad and the tiger roll with tempura. big dinner tomorrow. pictures along the way. have to keep up my reputation as 'the kool=aid house' you know. :happy:
LikeLike
Akamu said:
That sounds delicious. Do take food pictures…
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
Great! Can't wait to see the pics. 😉
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
here's a preview. :chef:
LikeLike
SummerAngel said:
Mmmm, looks great! What time are you serving dinner? You made me hungry, now you have to feed me. 😆
LikeLike
E. Driver said:
I'm eager to see what goes on with S. next!
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
summer, all i can say is feast your eyes…. or hang out with me. :lol:very soon elmar. maybe tonight, surely tomorrow. just have to type the episode. "el grande and the 'haight'" 😎
LikeLike
E. Driver said:
Sounds mysterious. 😉
LikeLike
IArtMan said:
no, not mysterious, just another weird adventure. i had to do a drawing of this mexican penitentiary, before i could type the story in. i am just an illustrator at heart. :lol:first thing tomorrow…. morning energy. :happy:
LikeLike