there’s a little glory in this world, but not enough. in meditative moments i see
that all i want from this world is to be appreciated; to be loved. i don’t trust
anyone anymore. the line in shakespeare… i think it’s “as you like it”…
“friends whose hearts are false as stairs of sand.”
i just pray that everyone at once doesn’t see the self-delusion i have found to
be the mortar between the clay bricks of my being. it would be mayhem. dear
loving god, don’t let them see the truth. it is unbearable. at the end of a life
of suffering for nothing, you die. that’s all. as the six year old told art
linkletter “you wash dishes for ninety nine years and then you die.”
but to get on with the story of my dearest friend s.
after a fruitless spell on the top of mt. marcy, s. returned to suffolk st..
bobby wasn’t a very good caretaker in those days. he is now. but then he
allowed his friends to trash the storefront.
s. asked, “what happened? i can understand the mess but why did they tear
down the expensive knotty pine walls i had erected?” bobby just shrugged…
and answered nonchalantly, “they had a sort of a… like a scientific interest in
where the pipes and electrical wires went.”
s. couldn’t even stay the night. back on the road. this time to vermont. he had
had it with the city; nothing but trouble and distractions. he hadn’t painted a
single stroke in two years.
bob anderson had built a log cabin in the woods a few miles from woodstock
in vermont. woodstock was a postcard perfect little town with a river running
through it. everything was as well kept as if it was a backdrop for a movie.
there were five art galleries, one grocery store, the vfw,(veterans of foreign
wars) and a movie theatre that showed one movie a week on friday and
saturday nights.
anderson arranged for s. to rent the two floors over the “atlantic and pacific
tea company” (the “a&p) a franchise of the food giant but family owned for
decades. it was a general store also. s. had two floors above it for $20 a
month.
and s. had an allowance of $100 a month from his loving father who believed
in him. it was a family tradition to support your children until they reached
the age of 21. s. moved in on his 19th birthday, september 2nd, labor day.
s. had an army cot of wood and canvas. there was a pot bellied stove which
glowed so red that you could light a stick by touching it to the belly when it
was as glowing red as a steel ingot.
put a galvanized bucket on it and you had hot water to bathe with. the
apartment had two marvelous features: an enormous bathroom with a toilet
and a sink of antique marble. and there were three large windows with
wooden shutters; not painted, just varnished. you could see “the corner
cupboard” , the town cafe’, accross the street where the two main town roads crossed; the only
stoplight in town. and there stood the town cop “durfie” was his name. the
whole top floor with three large windows at each end was s’s studio.
we’re all dying… from the moment we are born until the moment that we
disappear. what can we possibly do to make the best of that?
s’s answer was to paint. to dig deep within his mind itself for beauty which he
had no doubt existed; but could he see it? could he express it? and
admittedly, he knew that there was glory in them thar hills. not gold. s. didn’t
care a fig for the gold. as long as he had enough to go on with. and he had
it.
s. began to paint again. he woke up early every morning and painted, or drew
something, anything; just practice practice practice. he developed a structure
of practice which honed his draftsmanship to as fine a ‘t’ as any master’s.
and he continued to read and think and devoured books from the library. he
sucked up every great idea ever put to paper; or papyrus, or lambskin. and
every friday he would go to the movies.
the cool thing about having only one theatre and one movie a week was you
were free of decisions. decisions, decisions. so it was a jerry lewis movie…
o.k. . and the candy girl was the prettiest little protected delight of the whole
experience. she was eighteen and lovely and after a half a year of handing s.
his favorite candy, cherry humps, (three chocolate covered cherries in a row),
she went out with him.
now, s. was encouraged. he had a pretty girlfriend, an art gallery to exibit in
and all the basic necessities of life.
below, Β “the cherry hump girl”
I wonder if it's all about being loved. I ask myself – have you loved. And I have. More than words can tell.Never mind those damned dishes. Still reading……
All we can do in our lives is try to make room enough for the good things to happen. I feel blessed. No matter how hard you try to imagine what love would be like it always surprizes you when it actually happen. The power of it is unbelievably strong.
I love that first painting and I love the description of the studio in Vermont. Sounds like the type of loft setting I dream of spending my last days in.
That first painting is so rich in many ways. As is your life. It is difficult to make comments on such a post. It's like looking at a magnificent work of art, you just need time to take it all in. Thanks for giving me something to think about. π
"friends whose hearts are false as stairs of sand""and if you love me you will find me… "I still believethat even I have been loved by a man more than my own mother, I do define love the deepest love that a parent can give to a child. To this day I dont think I loved anybody else other than the kids this way,is is obsession similar?? or only a mad person can feel that deep love?it will be sad to me if such feeling exists and I will never feel it.Being compassionate, feeling lust,or care for a man it is a great way to define love but is it all it is?I am so not done here yet meli :heart:I'll be back for more
I wish you understood the words on this one meli,I am listening to it right now and the love words are sooooooooo deepit melts the heart,soul,mind,body and it makes the stars look so near….
:heart:
allan. yes. it is all about being loved. i know. being unloved, it's hard to want to go on. i am constantly giving myself a pep talk, thanks for reading my attempts to put these paltry moments into some perspective… i feel like it's a note in a bottle. :heart:yes nic… i agree. unbelievably strong. :heart: :heart: :heart:pam, that's what all of us artists dream of… the space to function in. π and the freedom from want. that's when we sail. :heart:meli :heart: you always cheer me up. i don't know what i would do without your compassion. your interest. :heart:thanks san for making the effort. i always knew you had to be a kindred soul. :heart::heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
:heart: this is a part of it :)I am the guitarist of God, today I am here tomorrow, I 'm elsewhere Alone I go, only starting everywhere I sing for you As a guitarist god I sing, how to I, homeless will 's audience, stars to throw in her hat.:heart:
perfect :heart: thank you meli. a very moving video. i will cherish this one for sure. someday, i may even translate it. but the images say it all for me. oh, fleeting delights.
so cool… like orpheus. have you ever seen "orpheo negro"? i saw it when i was very young and impressionable. it kind of changed my life. for the better, of course. :heart: meli, meli, meli. you always lift me up.
Scott, you're right! This is perhaps just what a weblog is – a message in a bottle.If I were to name my weblog today, I just might call it that.The message in a bottle.
meli, :heart: the highest love is the love for another's soul. that includes our parents, our children, our friends and our lovers. when we 'make love', it's like an experiment in chemistry… is this the one? that's all. the chemistry is important for higher purposes than we can even understand.that's the way i see desire… it animates everyone. without desire, there is no life. but wiser men than i look upon desire as a distraction from the spiritual. i disagree with them all. i have this life… it's a gift which i will not waste.
good pick up allan. feel free… we're on to something here… vis a vis our burning question…. why blog? a modern zen master would just say why not? i am with him. never second guess your instinct.specifically, isn't that all that all writing is… talking out loud to the world. entertaining, if you can. just imagine shakespeare or dickens blogging. what a treat that would be. i would be glued to this screen if ibsen were posting his thoughts. or thomas mann… what a marvelous thing it would be to comment on his post. naaaa they wouldn't…. π just a message in a bottle….
Scott, I don't think it would be one bit more interesting talking to Ibsen than talking to a bloke like you.Not one bit.
you make me smile…
i've always known that your heart, nic, was in the right place. my wish is that someday we will see eye to eye… not for any momentous significance… just for the sheer joy of it. i can just imagine the shock of meeting in person. wonderful.
That's nice, friend
Now he's smiling too. Isn't this a good day?
It sure is. ItΒ΄s laundry day! π
:happy:
I just want to tell you guys. While blogging with you over the years. Things has moved!!! :heart: We might or might not see each other in the eyes. But IΒ΄m still moved :heart:
No, sir. That was yesterday. Today is going to the woods day.
Whoa, Nic. That's a statement. And you're right, too!
You lucky b…… π
I love how the comments thin at the bottom of this page, men express emotion with just a few words,needless to say sometimes less is more ,and yes I do smile too :heart:
:happy: :heart:
that's the spirit allan… nothing compares to a walk in the woods.and it is even more enjoyable when the laundry is done.meli :heart: i can feel your smile from here.
now I hug someone too :p *hugs*
so glad you did that just then… you know people would just keel over and die if they don't get a hug now and then. i read somewhere that it releases endorphins. that's natural. i might add that everyone deserves a hug :heart:
ThatΒ΄s so great π :up:
a few days ago i got on the bus and sat down. a two year old was sitting on his mother's lap accros from me. he shouted "hey." and extended his hand to me. i greeted him back with my biggest smile. the whole bus lit up. everyone laughing. another kid next to me extended his hand and i shook it. everyone laughed again happily. that's what love is. :heart:
a very special lady passed away 7 years ago from ovarian cancer.she was working as an outside Agent in our Agency.When Michael passed away she used to say "Yannis' hands can not hug you all around, you need a hug (my son was 2 at that time)", I forgot many things she said after her passing but to this day I can feel her warm hug. it was all I needed those days to regroup and not give up..Love is grand!and I love you meli :heart:
nic,it's so cool to feel you are right there… even in spite of that enormous ocean. thanks for being there. ahhhh my dear meli :heart: :love: isn't it a blessing to have known some great people. all the memories of them keep on sustaining us.
Can't we make a movie of the above dialogues? It's art, man! π
Blogging makes the world very small :up:
Imagine you make a production of 25 minutes (video) with the above blogging stories. Everybody tells his/her story. But we are about half way, I guess… Fantastic how people on all parts of the world come together (i.e. unite) digitally. Entertaining.:eyes:
it is true that this is a new age we live in. we are just beginning to feel the significance of it. talking to each other over the miles. knowing each other over many years. :heart:we are all independent minds meeting and conversing. it is cool :cool:a movie? π
But do you also notice a rather rapid shift towards video-mails? Ever more people start webcam "mails" and 'documentaries' instead of 'chatting' and blogging! So, you take your mobile phone with you, make a video clip with it, post it on the web (YouTube) and there you are…Look here. There is even a live webcam pretty near Ellinidata! Haha. And this inspiring live homework x-rated for even more in- and transpiration.:wizard: :doh:
Hi, Scott! I have been too busy to take a look at your blog recently. Being prepared for Norooz and my assignments. I'm ganna give a start to write my thesis, as well. Wow! Man … U r a great and talented artist and author. U should publish all your stories. I don't need to go to the places u described or meet the characters in your stories. The way u narrate the stories makes my imagination fly to your world … so touchy and real … Incredible … And why not? Making movies based on your stories is an interesting idea. Keep it in your mind! So happy to get a chance to read your stories again! Keep writing my good friend!:up:
thanks akasha for the comment. i will do my best. :happy:john… it is trend. i did a few videos and presentations but found that it takes up too much of my precious time. :happy:that times square camera …. so many people just standing around watching themselves. c'est tres bizarre.
I agree. Made much TV in Holland, usually we used 10 times more prep time than recording time, let alone post production. And that is conservative. But it appears that we are bound to become voyeurs and narrators. Hedonism replaces content, narcissim that of self-critique. But for your ART and your writing it could be something. You are an impressive personality as well. Have a good voice?? :confused:
It's all about love.I love it.:love: :heart: :heart:
john,yes a pretty good voice…. mid-western… the no accent radio announcer style with just a touch of british enunciation.hi, arne,all you need is love love love. :happy:
me too… where i live now has the most evocative train blasts. i love to just listen to sounds like the fog horn, and trains. i can do without the jets landing at burbank every few minutes though. i don't think it's good for the tomatoes. π
Interesting to bear in my mind, Scott! The sound of a fog-horn always inspires me…:D
hmmm. nice low voice.it sounds very idylic where you are. except for maybe the mars like terrain… i've had enough of dry here… you have to keep drinking all day long and through the night to stay hydrated. i am very sensitive to that.o.k. what's a miga. salchisas in moderation i hope. sausages will kill you. love 'em though now and then.
Neither do I…! We are in a real desert here with moments of … absolute silence, when you start hearing your blood stream and heart beat. That is so strange, but it also is the soil here and the Mars-like terrain. There are moments you not even hear birds, perhaps some insect far away!! You dare not breath for fear to disturb this extra-terrestrial silence. For us the big city (Baza, Granada) is an attraction, for only a few hours. Then we are glad to return home, to our "tiny planet", our animals, fresh tomatoes, our own grapes and wine, ham, salchisas (sausages), and migas. Yes, having lived next to water in Holland, the fog horn has something special, but also narrator's voices that resemble them.
Here you hear such a voice in Dutch.Just compare… π
Miga are bread crumbs baken in olive-oil mixed with some fine cut meat. It's rather dry, so you need to wash it away with a good wine or water. Sausage I don't like at all, or they must be Frankfurter-like. Yes, the desert is dry in Summer (May to September here). After that we get plenty of water. http://my.opera.com/nepmak2000/albums/show.dml?id=180721 see a few pix.:coffee:
hotdogs…. how can we resist them sometimes… or a good german bratwurst.i couldn't see the pictures that way. 401 not authorized.:coffee: good morning. good night for me. at long last i am feeling sleepy. :happy:
Or Kartoffelsalat – sleep well and wake up save and sound! :zzz:
hmmm "Kartoffelsalat"… just the sound of it gives me an appetite. π
http://translate.google.com/translate?prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kochrezepte.de%2Fkartoffeln-rezepte%2Fkartoffelsalat-mit-fruechten-29337.html%3Fpaging%3Dtrue&sl=de&tl=en&history_state0=Just try it – Google translation to English goes by… :wine: Further advice beyond doubt from Angeliki :flirt: :coffee:
hmmm i see… looks delicious and heathy too. :up:http://img.kochrezepte.de/recipeimages/863070/29337/kartoffelsalat-mit-fruechten_20080717102533582.jpg
It's simple, delicious and pure, based on patatoes-Kartoffeln. Haha.Another recipe is here:
Louis is dead, a pity. But this allegory on the Germans is precious: the tone, the words like 'nutmeg nuts' (Muskat Nuss), eggs (Eier) and patatoes (Kartoffel – pommes de terre) and the … lighting (!) Hope you like this 'recipe'… π
π muskat nuss… nice trick with the hitler hair… :happy:
Yes, it was years ago a sensation, but Louis de Funes could make that…and it is so true. I have a German wife and I know how the 'hang' is still there.:rolleyes:
i saw a good german movie from netflix last night called. aimee and jaguar, about some ladies in berlin around 1943. at first i didn't think it was going anywhere but in the end i was very satisfied. a very beautiful movie. :up: what is the 'hang', john?
I meant "hang" like: she got the hang of it, she likes/knows/does it. In this case: the tendency of Germans to like Hitler. My 'tendency' as well, but I studied his phenomenon. He began his career about like you, as a painter of neat postcards. A lot of stories about that time are untrue or severe exaggerations. As always. That explains the 'hidden sympathy'. Point. Hope you can get away with my word 'hang' now, or correct me if I misuse or misinterpret that word, Scott.:awww:
i guess i would have just said, "my wife is german, and she still has some sympathy for hitler." but that might not sound quite right either.but even if you had said, "my wife got the hang of it", i still would have been wondering what she got the hang of. it's usually in context like:"i played 'go', the japanese game and lost twenty times until i got the hang of it and then i never lost again." π
Understood, Scott. Thanx for enlightening me.:yes:
happy to oblige, john. they say it's hard to get the hang of english. i wouldn't know… lol i struggle enough with spanish and french. it always amazes me when europeans demonstrate fluency in not one or two, but six or seven languages. i can understand it though. the only reason i know some spanish is because mexico is next door. but french, i learn just because i love francais. :happy: and i am always grateful to be corrected also.
It is so important to 'understand', stand under, people and help them. I am always glad when somebody advices me! Vivo diez aΓ±os en EspaΓ±a, pero no hablo la lengua bine, Scott, es practicar, practicar, practicar – but my wife does the talking. Particularly for official business this is like a secret weapon, women! Women do far better in languages than men, is my idea. In Holland we -in my time- had French as a secundary language. At Highschool (RHBS called then) we got English and German to it. German and its 'die','der','das' etc. is not my language. Too complex with no bearing on Dutch. I must think far too much to speak it well. So I started to learn the family Dutch, which is a truly difficult language. Double Dutch, double meaning that is. Spanish and English make up for 75% of spoken languages. Gaby also speaks Syrian, old Aramian and that sort of archeological languages, is a Syriologist as a matter of fact. She speaks about 8-9 languages. I am the dude here with 5. Our Dani has a Masters in Modern Languages but does German, Dutch, English, French, Italian, Valenciano (!), Spanish, somewhat Greek, Arabic (can recite the Qur'an partly even). He picks up a language in split seconds – has a talent for it from his Mama…:doh:
Yes, very interesting Sanskrit. Regarding Aramean neither Google nor Yahoo! have much to offer. There are certain areas for these search engines impossible to engage… for their languages! That is for the study of 'dead' languages a real nuisance! Gaby was some time amongst them in the east of Turkey and found them highly civilized farmers. Yet they are treated like rubbish by the Turks as well as the Wild West. A shame, one of so many…Only here you can get to Aramean texts. :awww:
that's cool it is a great skill. in another life, i might choose to study languages. i did take a year of sanskrit at columbia, but it would take ten years to learn it well. it was very interesting. 7times7 letter forms… 49 in all.on a grid going down you have each way the sound is made. labial, aspirated, dental, etc.. then accross are seven modifications or how each sound is changed. so it's perfectly phoenetic. cool huh? :happy:aramic eh… i'll bet she knows a thing or two. :sherlock:
Dear nepmak2000. Thank you for the sanskrit lesson. For an old teacher and linguistic it was gefundene fressen. By the way. Norwegian intonation is very similar to dutch intonation. In that way learning each others language is easy. π :up: :yes:
Hello Arne. Good to hear, I filed a "let's be friends" request to you. Your topics have my greatest interest! Yes, the Dutch can learn Norwegian fairly rapidly. It works a bit like our North-Holland "Frysian". If that helps Scott (Artman) is another story, but he should take a look at your cultural heritage and the Midsummer Night Sun. Or go to Hesdalen to see some good UFOs… (they say). :whistle: Yes, my wife was one of the rare students in Munich to study Syriology and old Eastern language. Sanskrit she didn't do however, but all West/WNW from that. In studying world religions and the planetary conditions that promoted their dispersal I came along India of course, apart from the fact that my mother was a woman from that country (although I am not coffeebrown, but white). Hinduism and Buddhism are 2 'lifestyles' aka religions I (superficially) studied trying to find the roots of Islam and the essense of Al Andaluz, amidst which we live currently. Hope to hear more from you!
Great post, Scott. I love the way it all comes together in this one. Magister.
thanks ed, for commenting. yep, the end of a period is the beginning of a new life really. hmmm… magister, that is a compliment. :happy: magister ludi… great hermann hesse book. :up: the bead game continues.
I didn't like Magister Ludi. At least not nearly as much as his earlier ones.For one thing, he has this philosophy in the novel that periods of great artistic revolution come at times of great instability. Having live through The Doors and Vietnam, I suppose I could see that. But rock and roll in general was born in the conservative 50s. And New Wave coincided with the frigging Reagan and Thatcher eras.
i see your point. you are refuting the "third man" principle. five hundred years of peace in switzerland and what have they produced. the cuckoo clock'".my opinion is that art is a whole different stream which goes on with or without suffering. it's probably cosmological. there seems to be, throughout history what i would call hot spots in time. :smile:.
I agree. A. Schweitzer once said, "Science goes its own way." And I think that is even more true of art.Maybe we shouldn't knock Switzerland too much, though. They make lots of upscale watches that are far too expensive for people like me to ever be able to buy. AND they make great cheese. :p
don't forget those pretty guards at the pope's house. :sherlock:also, i think they're smart to remain neutral. :up: everybody should do that.
π True. The philosophy should be Okay, everybody just mind your own frigging business.Unfortunately, today's Capitalists don't agree.
Got the same message: Not authorized. Hugs to you all, and looking forward to meet you sometime. :love:
Watch this, Edward. Too expensive cuckoo clocks from Switzerland, like Rolex?
Right from your brethren in the UK!More here:http://www.buychinawholesale.co.uk/replica-watch-rolex-watch-c-74_89.htmlhttp://www.tradekey.com/selloffer_view/id/2220448.htmAny more desires? Cheaper I can't bring you… Who cares the "replica"?:yikes: π
i'll take one of these…http://www.terrafugia.com/
I'll give them $45 US for that Rolex. :p
sure, it's a knock-off but it probably cost more than $45.anyway, i have a watch, even two back-up watches, but no car plane π
http://www.sukhoi.org/files/video/sukhoi_maks2005.avi?r=99&gallery_id=99&cur_gallery_id=99Hope you can see my choice! It's (Russian) taxpayers payed for… and dwarfs the F-22 in a great way.:yikes:
Sorry. Could'nt see it. (I am not suprised) :awww:
well, it's like 89 megabites… π
That may explain it. Thanks. π
Arne, try this one please.You ought to be able to see this. Can you see YouTube streams? Or no YouTube at all?:worried:
I see it all right, but now I ca'nt get rid of it. (I like swimming better than flying) :cheers:
We might combine the two….:D π
I am not sure, could be. I only know that throttle refused to go into idle…. Luckily the crew survived…! :yikes:
that's a 'wmd' isn't it? looks like a pelican with a bee stinger.
I am not suprised about all you know, john, but wiseman never stops suprising me :knight: :ninja: :coffee:
Thanks for the honor, Arne, but I think Artman/Scott and Piercy/Edward are the real philosophers of this house… π
errmmm… what do you mean by 'real' ? π
I simply mean you know better…. π
hear hear :up:
*s. keeps the secret.
Yes, because Scott can express himself in art, and I can't… so he knows better, or?:cry:
ssssssssssssttt yes! :spock: