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my status will probably be ignored.
but i believe in the power that truth has.
i may be a relatively adept artist. but i am an awowed alcoholic… who astoundingly enough can still spell.
this is not my 'swan song', just an honest admission that i am what they used to call a dipsomaniac. sounds terrible doesn't it. i believe in truth. it's not terrible, but it is incurable, like cancer.
i have been battling this disease since i was thirteen.
i was sober for ten years and then for one year after a relapse of binges. now i have five years of surviving the drive to drink. yes, that's the way it is. every day we don't drink is some kind of miracle.
why am i telling you this?
because there is no understanding in the world about this affliction. everyone wants to say that we are weak-willed. guess again. a day doesn't go by that we wouldn't like a little relief. and when we take that relief we are doomed. that's it in a nutshell.
podloonaroon 
:up: congrats Scott. 🙂
One of my friends also recently celebrated 5 years of sobriety. I do understand a little…congratulations Scott! :happy:
:hi: Congratulations Scott. Not to compare, myne is easy: smoked 3 paks a day for more than 30 years. This Sepetember past, 11 years have passed since my last smoke. I just don't light up my next smoke…just one puff I can manage (barely).DonYan:coffee: :bye:
I smoked two-and-a-half to three packs a day for about 31 years, too. Been smoke-free for a little over 19 months now. Still have moments when I would just about kill for a cigarette, though.I'm like you, Scott. It's a matter of making a conscious choice many, many times every day.Hang in there.:up:
congrats Scott! to live with this is hard enough without people always trying to put you down for it. I think you´re strong and the fact that your honest is a beautiful thing, it is hard and that every day is a battle is so hard…. that you are fighting it, is already a very big achievement. If you fall every once in awhile, we all fall, and we all must get up and pick up the pieces and try all over again. We all have our weaknesses, recognizing it and trying our bloody best to make ourselves better, is always a wonderful thing. Always. :heart:
I imagine it's like tabagism…I used to smoke since I was 15. Stopped 2 years ago, and since there everyday is a constantly fight!Sometimes I wish some, sometimes I hate the fact I used to smoke…And sometimes I remeber the "glamourous" I passed smoking…It's weird, but I can imagine and feel what you feel.
all of that shit should be totally outlawed. they stopped television commercials which sold cigarettes. but they still have these totally entrancing and appetizing commercials for alcohol.they might as well package poison. but i blame no one. i am the one who traded my life for a drink.thanks for the comment b.
yeah, you're right! the commercials stopped, but to drinks they still on…it could be better not to see them on tv…
well done Scott. You´re a good person. God help you with your daily task! May all your days be miracledays. 🙂
you scared me!:Dcongrats!
Yes, Doris Day got the cigarette commercials stopped.Congrats, Scott! With me, my addiction, if I hold something or am busy doing something, then I don't do it. Mine is a little addiction, but a lot of people don't consider it to be so. If I don't think about it, then I don't do it! If I think about it, I may do it subconsciously when watching TV. What is it? It is biting my finger nails.You know, some people feel some addictions are worse than others due to the deleterious effects most addictions have on health; however, I believe it is the worry that happens to those with addictions when they think about or do their addictions that is the worse thing. The madness we get at ourselves when we realize we have done the thing, the sometimes results that everyone can see which make us despair. What is most unfortunate is when the addiction affects those around us, which I am very lucky mine doesn't.But some addictions are considered healthy, like, jogging, sports, eating correctly, chocolate, coffee, RC (very addictive – I won't drink it at all!) These addicts who don't do these things everyday become depressed, sometimes get headaches from lack of some! I do get cravings for Pepsi or Coke-a-Cola. Cravings are a small addiction. My doctor says cravings result from the body needing something. The body knows. Addictions are extremes, people forget that! Extremes can run the gauntlet. Perhaps you can get a pill with the chemical ingredients of your addiction all in a separate pill, take one everyday until you see which of the ingredients your brain and/or body requires? Is this possible with medical science yet? I wish it would be. Then, if you take this pill everyday you would have no cravings. You have my sympathies. Our bodies are complex and if people would be honest, sometimes– everyone I know finds something that once they bring it home, you end up eating the WHOLE THING because you can't stop yourself, experiencing an ultimate-extreme crave you eat it all!There is one item of food that I had that with, but now I must have satisfied my body (fortunately); but for a while…So, Scott, you are not alone. We all have our addictions, bad or good or neutral. I mean, blogging is a good one; right? Reading. Why isn't TV????? I watch more educational TV than anything else! Cooking is an excellent one.For some women, cleaning everything is an addiction! My mom used to be that way. You drink something, the MINUTE you are done with it she used to take the cup and wash it! You would think cleaning would be a good one, but it can get irritating done to extreme. She is better!!!!!
good comments… but we have to consider that habits are in another league than addiction. habits will never kill me but the addictions can.
I have heard it said, "He has a habit of narcotics." Addict is defined by Merriam Webster's College Dictionary as: 1. To give (oneself) up to some strong habit. Addiction is defined as the condition of being addicted (to a habit) or of being an addict; specif., the habitual use of narcotic drugs.I know of someone who died from: 1. jogging too much (heart attack and dehydration) 2. eating too well (gastric trouble)! Oh, well, we are all going to go from this sphere in the end, might as well enjoy it.I don't understand, I mean, if alcohol makes someone mean, that is terrible and most definitely drink should be avoided; if it makes someone weepy or happy, that isn't too bad; if it is deletrious to someone's health, that is an entirely different matter and drink should be avoided. I wish you the best. Ultimately, everything you do is up to you. You have my sympathies, since you obviously don't want to drink and are proud to admit that you don't! (Good for you, you have and are keeping your goal of sobriety!) 13 is such a young age to have become a dipsomaniac! Yet, you went to college and are still alive! That is an accomplishment.
thanks so much for the pat on the back. i am grateful for that.we all need to be loved, we all need to be encouraged and we all need the comfort of human friendship and touch. i feel like an island sometimes. happily i am waiting for my good friend to go to a meeting with and then dinner. have a nice evening yourself.
Thank you! You can do everything you put your mind to.Have a marvelous time with your friend and a delicious dinner!Happy evening to you!!!!
it is good that you know what you are, and that some day again, you will be able to quit again, like u did before.just keep at it, and it will happen.i kept up trying to quit smoking, and have been smoke free now for 7 years 3 months.you can do it again, scott, i have faith in you.