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titanic the movie. the most romantic movie ever made… and it proved to me how much of an incurable romantic i am.

romantics are weak because they see life through rose tinted glasses. i have always been a lover of love itself and the distractions of imagination. i have escaped the cold reality of the concrete world of diligence and ambition whenever i could. of course the necessities of life have always trumped my visionary isolation. i should add …. not without resentment.

let's face it… i'm a dreamer. and i'm a dreamer of impossible dreams. i dream of the perfect love and flying and healing the sick or influencing the world.

one day some years ago my brother, bobby, called me to invite me to a movie. i wasn't too thrilled with another version of the sinking of the titanic but i liked to get out of the house and see a movie now and then. being an artist myself and all my life just like the hero of that movie, i was inspired at a time when i was at my lowest. my wife had recently disolved our relationship and my father was dying.

i felt so in love with 'rose', played by kate winslet, that the next morning as soon as i got up i did a pastel from memory of her. it was as if i had to make her solid somehow to exorcise the sentimental demons which made me yearn for her; someone i could never have.

anyway, today i was thinking how blessed i have been in life to have loved.
the mother of jonathan, my first son, was a powerful all-consuming love; and a romantic story. the telling of which i've already done but not in print. as you can see from this black and white she was quite stunningly beautiful. but the mother of my other three children and wife of many years is also beautiful and i still love her too. how can a man be so lucky to live long and to be given two great loves in one lifetime.

somebody up there likes me.